I feel like I should start this column like those support groups start... "Hello, my name is Jennifer."

(Then you say, "Hello Jennifer" and I continue...)

"My name is Jennifer... and I am a speaker who used to yell!"

There are several challenges facing women when it comes to public speaking. One is obvious... we get nervous! We may feel small and insecure behind a podium or on a big stage. It's not just the sense of physical smallness in a big crowd that can make us feel tiny and self aware; it's the big responsibility that can remind us of our frailty. The result? Nerves and insecurity!

Another challenge is establishing authority. Most of the time, if a woman stands to teach or lead, it's because she feels called by God and she has something to say! Out of a deep desire to steward her position or message, she will really try to establish her authority with her audience so they will get the message.

These challenges can cause us to do something unintentional. In order to compensate for insecurity or establish authority guess what we do? Yell! Yes, we tend to raise our voices like an earsplitting preacher of old, before the invention of microphones!

I've done it. I've heard my speaker and teacher friends do it. I thought I would fall over laughing when I reviewed the film from the first time I spoke at Women Of Faith... the poor audience. I yelled at them for thirty minutes! I didn't mean to, I just really believed in my message and loved them and wanted them to get it! And by the way, I was nervous (you think?!), felt small on that big stage and was really aware of the seasoned speakers who were listening. I yelled to hide my insecurity and establish my authority.

There is certainly a time during a message to raise your voice for emphasis. But, the point is that you want to choose degrees of volume like a dancer chooses her steps. She prances about the stage, some steps light and airy, some distinct and profound. Can you imagine watching Swan Lake and enduring nothing but stomping and exaggerated gestures? How draining. We use the instrument of our voice as the dancer uses her feet. Not every move and step is identical, yet there is fluidity. And for the speaker, the inflection and volume may vary, yet, it becomes part of a dynamic, flowing whole.

Robin Jones Gunn (author of SisterChicks) offered me some fabulous advice after hearing me yell, I mean speak! She told me "...begin more conversationally. Your movement on stage is compelling enough. If you begin with too much intensity, it prohibits connection. It's intimidating."

Robin helped me see the power of speaking like a girlfriend rather than yelling like a coach! From Robin, I learned to move in and out of intensity and volume during a message just as I would in a conversation with a girlfriend. And, isn't making a "girlfriend" connection what we really want?

My fellow speakers and teachers, making a heart connection is far more important than asserting authority. And, greater authority will come from the trusting relationship you establish through authenticity. It's more compelling than yelling and telling someone something from a distance.

So, consider your volume when you speak. It communicates as much as the words you carefully choose. Seek to understand why you may be yelling. Is it insecurity? Discomfort? Nerves? Pride? Remember that pausing and whispering, repeating and occasionally raising your voice can all be tools to make a point, connect with your audience and communicate authority. And last thing, never forget that just as your voice is an instrument, so are you!

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:10,11 NAS

Blessings and Joy,
Jennifer Rothschild
Author of Self Talk, Soul Talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, and Founder of WomensMinistry.NET

This idea was sent to us by Erlinda Magbanua of the Filipino Life Ministry of Life Christian Fellowship in Chino, CA. It is scripture-based theme and the candle symbolism below could be used as the message for a single event or divided into workshops at a retreat or conference.

Based On: Eph 2:10 and Matt 5:13-16

Description: We used votive type scented, colored candles and wrapped each candle in white tulle and tied in with white ribbon.

Symbolism:

• Scented, colored candle - represents each individual, whose lives differ from each other and yet are created by the same Maker
• White Tulle - represents His covering and protection for our lives
• White ribbon - His pure love that binds us all
• Wick - when lit represents "the light" - the way we live our lives in the midst of all the distractions in the world that becomes our testimony to those who are still in the dark
• Fragrance of the candle - also represents our testimony and how it is a sweet fragrance to our Lord

Priority Bible Studies by Laurie Cole. Check out Priority's female friendly Bible studies, There Is A Season and The Temple. Perfect for individual or group study, these practical, biblical, video-based studies will equip and encourage you to give God priority.

Take a minute to visit these recent sponsors...

• Bridget Taylor Ministries!
• Following the Shepherd, a mentoring program by Edwina Patterson

Here are some great ideas sent in by leaders from around the country sharing ways they reach out into their communities...

One way a women's ministry group can serve and witness in the community is by thinking of the practical needs of families in their area. What do most women need, or talk about, or do? Then adapt that idea to what you can do with the "women power" available in your church.

Another way is to serve, in practical ways, single moms in the area. The holidays are fast approaching and single moms need help with food, gifts, clothes, even yard work. It meets a need and can bring people to the Lord. It's fun too!!
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Our ladies are learning to work with a local home for formerly incarcerated women seeking to change their lifestyles through Christ. Currently, we go once a month to treat the ladies to an outing such as bowling, miniature golf, shopping, etc. This month, we gave them facials and manicures. Soon we will be training our ladies to be mentors and to spend some one-on- one time with each lady.

In the future, I hope we will promote other such activities: Bible studies in jails/prisons, pregnancy counseling, etc. The key is to keep the world ever before them and offer training opportunities so that they feel equipped ("feel" being the operative word because many are equipped but don't think that they are).
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One of our Ladies groups goes to our local Assisted Living Facility and organizes a resident Bingo game. The prizes include apples, snacks, small box of Kleenex, etc. This is the highlight of the month for the residents and the women who participate.
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We have started a ministry called "Knots of Love." We are making polar fleece blankets for the Salvation Army to distribute to those in need. We are involving the whole church by asking them to help sponsor the cost of the material. Then our ladies will gather for an evening of cutting, knot tying, a soup and bread supper, and a time of devotional and prayer for the many who will receive our knots of love and warm blankets for the winter.

Java with Jennifer is an informal monthly ministry update specifically for friends who want to keep up-to-date on what is happening with Jennifer Rothschild's ministry of writing, speaking, and singing.

Obviously, because you are receiving this eNewsletter, you are signed up for the Jennifer's "weekly" WomensMinistry.NET eNewsletter. However, if you want to get up close, and personal with Jennifer, just click on the Update Profile link at the bottom of this email, and select the Java with Jennifer interest group when asked to update your profile.

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Working under the assumption that the answer is probably "yes" for Bible studies and "no" for retreats, we would like to know if you typically provide childcare for events.

Just a simple "yes" or "no" will suffice for this little poll. However, if you want to tell us more, please feel free!

Click here to vote Yes

Click here to vote No

Thanks Ladies! We will share the responses in an upcoming issue.

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