Called into Ministry! What's a Spouse to Do?
Bob Burroughs
"Honey! I'm home - and guess what? I've been called into the ministry!" Or, how about this one? "Welcome home, my Dear. How was your day? The kids are fine. Mail is on the table. And, oh yes! I've been called into the ministry!"
This scenario has been played out many times in many marriages. One spouse experiences a true calling into ministry and has to relay it to their partner. Sometimes, the announcement brings great joy and celebration. Other times, it causes a blank stare, with little comprehension. Then, there is the: "What! You are kidding, right? Surely this is a joke! Tell me you aren't serious!"
It would be a good assumption that most couples are usually called into ministry together - with one or the other knowing what is expected of them in this process. They have talked and prayed. They feel this is God's will for them to do this - together. This often happens in college, seminary or graduate school.
However, problems arise when God calls a man or woman to ministry after they have established themselves in a vocation, have a nice home, and perhaps have a couple of children. This is when the "shot out of the blue" conversation makes for potential communication problems. In most cases, no prep work has happened. Perhaps the spouse, who has been called into ministry, has been dealing with this call for some time, has prayed through it and feels comfortable with it. But alas! They have not engaged in any conversation, serious discussions or prayer time with their partner. The announcement comes as a complete surprise!
Here are two suggestions to help make this process and conversation practical. It could save a lot of anguish, heartbreak, and perhaps, downright fights!
- Communicate with your spouse.
From the beginning, bring your partner into the discussion.
- Immediately when you sense God working in your heart and mind about accepting His call to ministry, talk to your partner.
- Discuss openly why you feel God is calling you.
- Discuss how you plan to handle things once this is firmly in place.
- For the husband, tell the wife what you are going through, and what plans you have to provide for her and the family.
- For the wife, tell the husband how this will affect the daily lives of the family.
- Discuss how you will plan for family and family priorities.
- Be prepared for questions.
Ask for time together to talk about and absorb the news of the call. Be prepared to answer questions, or ask questions like:
- How do you know this is a true calling?
- What are your plans to carry out this calling?
- How do you think this calling will affect me and the family?
- Will we have to move?
- Will you be going back to school?
This is not an easy task! Your family is important and their feelings must be taken into consideration because of this new calling. Time, patience, information, and conversation will help make the process better.
Question: What calling has God placed on your life?
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Our Expert
BOB BURROUGHS is a composer/arranger,and has been in church music 55 years, serving as Minister of Music, and at three universities as Composer-in-Residence. He was Director of the Church Music Department, Florida Baptist Convention. ESTHER BURROUGHS directs Esther Burroughs Ministries...Treasures of the Heart, a ministry of speaking/writing, authoring five books. They, have two adult children, and five grand children.
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